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My therapeutic stance is one of neutrality. Some people want to stop certain behaviors, other to modify them, or others may seek to integrate them more fully into their lives. |
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The Mission Statement of The Center for Healthy Sexuality
The Center for Healthy Sexuality’s mission is not just to help people desist
in unwanted or self-destructive sexual behavior, although it certainly
entails the cessation of fantasies, desires and activities that are not in
the best interest of the client or the client’s family or significant
others.
We believe that people are sexual beings beginning with puberty and
continuing to the end of life. While sexual wellness or healthy sexuality
is a personal question to be examined and explored individually, part of the
purpose of The Center is to provide a forum for the individual to develop a
sense of sex as both contributing to and coming from a vibrant, whole and
joyful life. Healthy sexuality is multi-determined by the interaction of
biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, ethical,
legal, historical, religious and spiritual factors. Moreover, sexual
health is a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well being in
relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease or
dysfunction.
For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the understanding of sex
must go beyond concerns related to particular behaviors and the numbers of
sexual partners involved. It must resonate with the person’s individual
moral, political, psychological and spiritual values. This requires looking
at sexual health holistically and comprehensively and, inasmuch as is
possible, without the individual personal bias of the therapist involved in
the treatment. We are all sexual people regardless of orientation, gender,
culture or SUBCULTURE, and we have a right to live a fully sexual and
satisfying life, one purpose of which is to give and receive pleasure. One
of the purposes, but not the only purpose of pleasure is to enhance the
intimacy between members of a couple or pair bond.
The Center for Healthy Sexuality supports a wide range of non-coercive,
legal, socially responsible and age-appropriate sexual behavior. Sex does
not always involve others, but when it does, it should be responsive to
issues of respect, consent, emotional and physical safety and reciprocity.
The end result is enhanced self esteem and sense of connection to self and
others in the absence of shame, compulsion and guilt. When an individual’s
sexual behaviors, values and attitudes are in alignment, sexual experience
is usually without undue emotional conflict and is generally gratifying,
leaving the individual and those in his/her intimate sphere with an enhanced
sense of well being.
Therapeutic Relationship
What's given is a therapeutic relationship with a seasoned and well-trained psychotherapist. What occurs within that relationship? Some people have never in their lives talked to anyone about what they cherish and fear most. Keeping such a large part of you completely to yourself over the course of many years is a breeding ground for shame, guilt and confusion. Therapy lets light in through
engaging in a non-judgmental, empathic, safe process. The therapeutic relationship is a sort of laboratory that examines the unconscious belief systems that used to help you psychologically survive early-life dysfunctional attachments.
Once these patterns are uncovered and understood, you will have the opportunity, through a variety of therapeutic interventions, to seek freedom. Rather than feeling enslaved by your desires, now you are in the driver's seat. You are riding the horse – the horse is no longer riding you.
The ability to make choices empowers your sense of self and enhances self-esteem.
Therapy is an opportunity to have a "corrective" experience with a person that will, in the long run, make you less afraid of real intimacy with a real person and will help you stop spending so much wasted time in the "erotic haze" which is based exclusively on fantasy.
Compulsiveness and obsessive pre-occupation gradually diminish as together we discover and rework the irrational belief systems that have held you back from experiencing a life filled with choice, adventure, passion and joy.
Couples Therapy & Sex Therapy
Couples therapy and sex therapy come together in an integrated approach. Emotional intimacy issues affect a couple’s sex life and, conversely, a couple’s sex life influences their level of emotional intimacy. Dysfunctional attitudes and belief systems are examined both interpersonally and sexually. When appropriate, sex “homework” exercises are assigned.
Conceptualized Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is conceptualized and treated as a system of skilled communication able to enhance those interactions requiring a wide range of communication skills. Hypnosis offers a way to organize how individual human beings construct their individual realities, and it offers insights about ways to interact more effectively with others, in addition to habit modification, the exploration of
impediments to goal achievement and the achievement of emotional stability.
In addition, hypnosis can be a way to promote self-sufficiency and independence, as well as being an avenue to deeper connection with others, helping the client to be happier and more self-assured.
Sex Treatment Assesment
Instructions: Read through the questions and answer them 'yes' or 'no' on paper.
When you contact me I will be able to asses your situation and we can work
from that point. Click here for more information about contacting me and
setting up an appointment.
1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
2. Have you subscribed or regularly purchased/rented sexually explicit
magazines or videos?
3. Did your parents have trouble with their sexual or romantic behaviors?
4. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
5. Has your use of phone sex lines, computer sex lines etc. exceeded your
ability to pay for these services?
6. Does your significant other(s), friends, or family ever worry or complain
about your sexual behavior? (not related to sexual orientation)
7. Do you have trouble stopping your sexual behavior when you know it is
inappropriate and/or dangerous to your health?
8. Has your involvement with pornography, phone sex, computer board sex,
etc. become greater than your intimate contacts with romantic partners?
9. Do you keep the extent or nature of your sexual activities hidden from
your friends and/or partners? (not related to sexual orientation)
10. Do you look forward to events with friends or family being over so that
you can go out to have sex?
11. Do you visit sexual bath houses, sex clubs and/or video bookstores as a
regular part of your sexual activity?
12. Do you believe that anonymous or casual sex has kept you from having
more long term intimate relationships or from reaching other personal goals?
13. Do you have trouble maintaining intimate relationships once the "sexual
newness" of the person has worn off?
14. Do your sexual encounters place you in danger of arrest for lewd conduct
or public indecency?
15. Are you HIV positive, yet continue to engage in risky or unsafe sexual
behavior?
16. Has anyone ever been hurt emotionally by events related to your sexual
behavior, e.g. lying to partner or friends, not showing up for
event/appointment due to sexual liaisons, etc., (not related to sexual
orientation)?
17. Have you ever been approached, charged, arrested by the police,
security, etc. due to sexual activity in a public place?
18. Have you ever been sexual with a minor?
19. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
20. Have you made repeated promises to yourself to change some form of your
sexual activity only to break them later? (not related to sexual
orientation)
21. Have your sexual activities interfered with some aspect of your
professional or personal life, e.g. unable to perform at work, loss of
relationship? (not related to sexual orientation)
22. Have you engaged in unsafe or "risky" sexual practices even though you
knew it could cause you harm?
23. Have you ever paid for sex?
24. Have you ever had sex with someone just because you were feeling aroused
and later felt ashamed or regretted it?
25. Have you ever cruised public restrooms, rest areas and/or parks looking
for sexual encounters with strangers?
Reminder: Once you finish this assesment please contact me.
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